Who Ate My Cheese!? Dealing With Housemate Conflict At Uni
Arguments and housemate tifs are all part and parcel of learning to live with others, but how you handle these conflicts when they arise can be the difference between an enduring, harmonious home or hell on earth!
Back in October 2016, we covered the basics of deciding who to live with at uni and how making the wrong choice can sometimes be devastating (remember the cheese stealer?!).
Hopefully, by now you know whether you’ve made the right choice in housemates; that said, I’m sure it hasn’t all been plain sailing!
Just like living at home, arguments and disagreements are bound to arise from time to time, but unlike at home, you all need to be mature and adult enough to resolve them between you when they do!
As much as you might not want to you need to be a grown-up, so no storming out, slamming doors and leaving things unsettled — your housemates might not forgive quite as easily as your parents!
Communication Is Key
I’m pretty sure we’ve covered this point before, but we really can’t stress it enough! If you don’t talk to your housemates (and we mean on a regular basis), issues will arise, and they’ll arise quickly.
Keeping each other informed about your schedules, letting them know when you’re feeling out of sorts and just generally chatting to each other will help avoid silly arguments and misunderstandings.
Raise Issues EARLY
Be honest with each other.
It’s ok to have different opinions or find something your housemate does (or doesn’t do) REALLY annoying, but if you try and ignore it the likelihood is that eventually you’ll snap and blow up at something that, to them, seems ridiculous (they don’t know that every time they leave a teabag on the side after they’ve made a cup of tea instead of putting it in the bin you’re secretly grinding your teeth, planning different ways to kill them with said teabag!)
Raising issues and annoyances early will help you avoid the ‘housemate explosion’ and hopefully clue the culprit into their annoying habits — without the need for murder by teabag.
Don’t Drag Things Out
As the saying goes, ‘don’t go to bed on an argument’. If something has blown up and you’ve got into it with one of your housemates, don’t leave it unresolved.
Yes, it may be appropriate to walk away from a particularly heated argument to cool off, but don’t let things fester.
Once all parties have had time to calm down, try and resolve the issue as quickly as you can. Leaving an argument unsettled, or at least without closure, will only lead to more conflict.
Learn How To ‘Agree To Disagree’
This may seem like a cop-out, but remember you’ve got to live with your housemates for the rest of the year and there may be some things that you just don’t, and might not ever, agree on.
It’s ok to be passionate, I mean who doesn’t love the odd heated debate, but try not to be a hothead or a serial opposer — turning every offhand comment from your housemates into an altercation.
Though it may be hard (this is where the sucking on a lemon comes in), try not to let your passions and opinions control you, it could lead to you being at permanent loggerheads with your roommates and that is not a healthy environment to live in — not to mention exhausting!
Compromise Is NOT A Dirty Word
Learning how to compromise is something that epitomises adulthood — once you’ve got this down you’re on the home straight to being a fully fledged grown-up!
Much like ‘agreeing to disagree’, compromise is all about recognising when you’ve hit a stalemate with someone or something and taking the appropriate steps to resolve the issue and move on.
In student housemate terms, this might be the neverending battle of the washing up.
If you find someone isn’t pulling their weight with something, talk to them about it and try and find out the reason why. If it’s because they just don’t like that particular chore but are happy to do others, then you could try and swap things out between you to make sure that everything gets done (rather than having the same argument over and over).
If everyone is willing and buys into the compromise, issues can be resolved to the benefit of everyone involved.
Time is running out to bag yourself a cosy home for next year with one of the favourite landlords amongst students in Loughborough!
Call us today on 01509 552814 to book a viewing before they’re all gone!
Andrew Chell can be contacted as follows:
Phone: 01509 552814
Mobile: 07769 684800
Office: 66 Ashby Road, Loughborough LE11 3AE
Published 23rd March 2016